I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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