I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
