You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
