white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Its about making memories worth repressing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
