i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
