Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
