You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
