oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
