Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
