As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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