U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
