He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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