Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize