sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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