Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
