yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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