We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
