coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
