You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
