My balls are so social today.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
