What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
