He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
