cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
