how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Houston, we have a blender
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
