I CAN MOONWALK!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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