i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
