Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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