Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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