I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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