And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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