He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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