Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
