Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize