She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He shit in the fireplace
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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