I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
