some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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