It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
