Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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