i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're a waste of cheezeits
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
