is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize