i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
