we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
