This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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