Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
