I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If that was your dad, he is hot
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
