And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
