Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
