I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
