im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize