Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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