New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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