i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
