Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
