when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
