Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
