I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
