We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize