My brain says no but my pants say off.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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