i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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