I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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