on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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