I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
