my sisters under your porch take her home
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
