OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In America we eat man semen.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
