So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
