I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
