i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it glows. i had to have it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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