do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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