Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
