Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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