that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
