i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
