Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
