My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize