508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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