In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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